Biebed! 6 Men Who Chose to Sport the Bieber Haircut... and Shouldn't Have

Throughout the ages there have been celebrities who didn't just make their mark on their respective entertainment industries but also on the fashion industry, contributing everything from signature perfume and clothing to nail polish and hairstyles. Justin Bieber has already involved himself in all of the above and is almost certainly planning some Bieber products for the future (hair gel? window treatments? life-sized marble statues of himself?), but even more fascinating than his fixation on the color purple is the willingness of other celebrities, both in Hollywood and around the world, to follow his lead- particularly when it comes to hairstyles. The following six celebrities are the ones who chose to sport their own feathered, combed-forward, pre-pubescent bowl cuts... and will regret it to their dying day.

Unless you, too, are an eight-division world champion boxer who has also won six world titles and the lineal championship in four different weight classes (believe me, it's all just as impressive as it sounds), Manny Pacquiao is the kind of man who could have you flat on your back and screaming for mercy in under five seconds. In today's boxing world, no name carries quite the same mixture of terror and street cred, nor is any face as enduring or recognizable- especially once it sports the Bieber 'do up top.

Yes, Pacquiao is a man to be feared, but his regrettable choice of coiffure leaves even his hair looking cowed. And despite being from the Phillipines, and therefore not necessarily in-tune with the vagaries of American celebrity culture, Pacquiao cannot be excused due to ignorance; the 'Fighter of the Decade' for the 2000's (Boxing Writers Association of America) has also released two pop records and is looking to break into the American movie business sometime in the future, possibly as a co-star to Sylvester Stallone. Hopefully the Hair and Makeup Department will be able to salvage what remains of Manny's American image.

If you've had even the most negligible contact with the NFL since 2000, you probably recognize the name Tom Brady. He's notched his Superbowl belt approximately once for every two years served as the starting quarterback of the New England Patriots (and in football 50% Superbowl Certified is on par with being an archangel of God), and off the field he's a successful model. He dates/marries beautiful women, he drives beautiful cars, he's invited to play in the Pro Bowl almost as often as the calendar will allow- Tom Brady is who you wanted to be when you grow up, is what I'm saying. But all it takes is one minor lapse in judgment before you end up looking like you're the victim of a hairstylists' eternal wrath.

Why someone who is arguably among the Manliest of Men would want to look like a caramel-highlighted sheepdog, I can only imagine- and right now my imagination is forced to assume a lot of tequila was involved. If you can look at this picture and not mentally apply the words 'humiliation', 'emasculating', and 'inexplicable' you are either a hard-core Brady groupie or a gay man with a thing for effeminate life-partners. Luckily, Tom has since seen the light and cropped the mop, so quietly scroll down to the next entry and try to forget what you've seen.

Still best known for his work during his teens and early twenties in That 70's Show, Punk'd, and Dude, Where's My Car?, Ashton Kutcher has stayed prominent in Hollywood through a series of starring roles in so-so films as well as his recent work in Two-And-A-Half Men as the new leading man. Opinions differ on whether his Two-And-A-Half role, 'Walden Schmidt', is the new comic genius of our times or a dirty hippie, but even with Ashton sporting a hideous man bob no one is complaining that his Bieber days are done for.

But the hair may be replaced by the actual thing- rumors are rife that Punk'd is returning to MTV, this time with the Biebs as host and Ashton behind the camera. Let's hope Ashton will resist the temptation to get all matchy-matchy as a promotion stunt because a Bieber Punk'd would be worth watching, if only to count how many times Bieber is forced to flee his own camera crew as hordes of tweens chase him down the street, shrieking manically.

Trying to differentiate between the rise of the Bieber as a popular hairstyle and the previous flaunting of a similar hairstyle from Zac Efron during his child star years is like a new twist on the 'chicken or egg' question- the world may never know. Even if Zac did 'do it first it's Bieber who made it a phenomenon, and so it is to Bieber that the accreditation usually goes, but if ever there was a man who could plead 'not innocent' to Bieber (hair) fever, it would probably be Zac. He had the side-bowl as a Disney star, back when his hair-styling choices were not made by him but by a marketing conglomerate desperate to control any attractive tween/covert sex symbol willing to have his face plastered across the bedrooms and socks of innocent young Disney Channel viewers. Regardless, the hair-helmet look has stuck with him and even in his latest movies, such as New Year's Eve and Hairspray, the shadow of his former 'do seems to echo across space and time, a degradation that spans the ages. We'll have to see if his newly-macho role, a marine in The Lucky One, will be enough to erase warbling High School Musical memories.

Ben Affleck is an award-winning actor and screenwriter famous for his roles in many, many Hollywood films and gaining critical acclaim for his efforts behind the screen as well, not only as a writer, but also as a producer and a director. His elevation to serious Hollywood material has been rocky, however, and he's won/been nominated for about as many Golden Raspberries (a sarcastic award given to the 'worsts' in the usual film-making categories) as Oscars, Golden Globes, and other commendations combined. One wonders where his quest for recognition went so, so wrong.

If ever you happen to be in Affleck's shoes, in the dangerous twilight zone between 'actor' and 'legend' where dreams are lost and the best laid plans can be discarded in the blink of an eye, don't, DON'T walk into your local beauty parlor with a copy of 'J-Pop' under the impression that you will get a haircut that is anything but laughable. This is not the mental image you want people to dredge up when they hear your name.

If you don't know who Andrei Kirilenko is, congratulations- you're not a fan of Russian basketball or the Utah Jazz. All you really need to know for this article is that he played for Russia in the 2000 Olympics before moving to America and taking up with the NBA. He seems to like it here, as he became an American citizen in 2011, but someone should tell Andrei that there are some aspects of American culture that he should never, ever embrace. In fact, he's got one on his head right now.

Of all the attempts at the Beiber, from toddlers to the surprisingly elderly, this one will go down in history. There simply can be no excuse- the stylist responsible should be sued, once for actually creating this... thing, and again for allowing Kirilenko to chose this style in the first place. I won't say there can never be a worse attempt at the Bieber than this, since I don't want to tempt fate and wake up tomorrow to pictures of Biebed-Donald Trump, but if it does get worse I don't want to see it.